watz home...........

realized i haf been away from home for large amount of time recently....
so much so that im beginnning to feel distant from dis place i call home....

whether issit roaming aimlessly at nite...
whether issit out somewhere to dig into books....
whether issit meetin frenz for supper....
i guess all dis are juz excuses for me to avoid everything....
i juz cant stand e sight of him...
i dunno how my mum does it.....

watz home???
itz juz a place i return everynite to replenish my energy....

i really miss talkin to my mum...
now i only seem to converse to her for like mayb 10mins a week....
yes really..itz dat bad...

i miss talkin to my sis...
or more like she misses my scoldings...
sometimes i really wonder how e whole incident is affecting her...
but i guess shes alrite...
no matter wat..
shes still a pri 5 kid....

i haf long 4gotten watz family warmth...
it sounds so alien.....

yes..i may look alright on e outside...
but most of e time...
im really juz puttin up a front....
sort of like a mask liaoz....
hiding my real emotions from every1...

gotta take dis opportunity to thank gary..
for providing me a hideout in the form of his hostel.....
thx bro....really appreciate e cosy room of urs...
though a little dusty....
haha....

n yah...garys been tryin to hook me up...
or i shd sae pair me wif some of his female frens....
yes..i gotta admit...
im really envious of lovin couples...
him n michelle...
xm n hy....
bla bla bla....
bud then again...
im not really into such things...
group dates...blind dates.....shitty dates..red dates...
ok not farni...
i still believe in fate...destiny...all dat fuck shit.....
all these dates juz make me seem kindda despo....
more over...
i dun tink im really financially stable enuff to gif e best to my gf...
im still partially dependant on my mum....
working for her is juz a ploy to get my mthly allowance...
so peeps..Im not some rich kid like some of u percieve can??????
i juz haf enuff to get by each day...
satisfy my material needs/wants...

yeah..so thx gary...really appreciate wat u r doing....
k..itz time to sleep...n back to muggin tml....
i wanna move out.......