Vincent #2

have been on this job with this colleague for the past 1 month....
never fails to entertain me with his nonsense....
which I like to call it, the "Vincent Syndrome"
Yes Vincent, You. Don't hide. Will never forget how you can actually make my day EVERYDAY in SIM.....

anyways, was having a client meeting with this colleague, unofficially known as Vincent2...everything was kinda smooth until until the very end......

Me: Thanks XXX, thats all from me.....
Me: Vincent2, do you have any things to add on?
Vincent2 proceeds to turn his head in circular motion.....
Me: (Trying very hard not to laugh)...I guess thats all...Thanks for your time.....

!!!! I felt like smacking his head at that very instant. Say yes or no lar! Don't shake your head in circular motion! Hahaha.
I swear my client was trying to contain her laughter too.....

Just today, we had the conversation of the month.......

Vincent2: kev, you guys go reservist quite often right? what you guys do inside there?
Me: (Inside there? Sounds like prison) Oh, depends on your vocation, regiment lor.
Vincent2: so whats your regiment?
Me: Armour. I used to be a mechanic, repairing tanks and all.
Vincent2: COOL!
Me: What about you? Does India (read: India) have NS and all?
Vincent2: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!(Eyes as big as goldfish)
Vincent2: India would go bankrupt if joining the army is compulsory.
Me: Why?
Vincent2: Come on! We got 1billion ppl!
Me: HAHAHAHAHA
Vincent2: Besides, we got nuclear weapons. Who cares about army...


Hahaha, he just made my day, after a long day of meetings and running from client to client....

Milestone.....

I hereby announce......























its been 15 days since I last touched alcohol!
woohoo!!!
its time to celebrate!!!



with Alcohol!!

hahaha
Pump room, here i come........

Tuesday Ramblings.......

for all that still don't know....
I have absolutely ZERO a very low threshold of tolerance of "The Others"......
"The Others" refer to the b.....
Ask me and I might just tell you.....

anyways....I just took one of the worst cab rides I ever had in my whole life....
U guess it...the driver was a "mud digger"....
First up, he made me wait 30mins for him, when the operator told me he is arriving in 10mins.
Background 1: Cab drivers can choose between 1,2,5,7 and 10mins on that touch screen thing that informs them of any cab bookings....For the prehistoric cabs that don't have this luxury, they would then have to tell the operators via walkie talkie, or phones, their estimated arrival time.

Yes, I took a prehistoric, manual cab.
Background 2: Manual cars are very hard to drive. If you a fucked up driver, or a passenger with fucked up luck, chances are your ride home would be fucking bumpy.
I belong to the latter, definitely not the former as I had 3 years of experience driving a Lorry.

0.1256248s after boarding the cab, I knew I was in for a tough ride;
Manual car, "mud digger" driver (=fucked up driver), unbearable smell, PLUS!!!!
YES!!!! PLUS!!!!
He had one of the worst song list EVER on his radio!
Background 3: He wasn't playing Chinese songs. He was playing songs that go like this for 30mins....
Ummm Ba Laaa ALLAAAHHH sayouu, la uhmm ma la HAI you......
Allah ble ssss mat hat thir.......

Before I get slammed for for being racist, I'm not really a fan of chants, be it buddhist chants, indian chants, malayu chants, whatever chants.

After 10mins, I was actually saying my prayers....(no, not that kind you idiot)
I was really hoping I would not puke on the cab EVEN without Maccullum......
Apparently my prayers were answered as I arrived home unscathed....

Anyway, I digressed.....
My main objective is to narrate this conversation.....
Stop laughing Drey. The above is really not the main focal of this entry.


Cab Driver: HARLO, I want to liport a excellent...
Male Operator: HUH? WHAT?
Cab Driver: I want to LIPOT a EXCELLENT.
Operator: OH, ACCIDENT AH, where?
Cab Driver: EXCELLENT on A Y E towards Changi at JULONG ROUND HALL LOOT before CLEMENTI AVE 6
Operator: er, accident on Jurong Where? I can't hear you clearly...
Cab Driver: EXCELLENT on A Y E towards Changi at JULONG ROUND HALL LOOT!
Cab Driver: before CLEMENTI AVE 6
Operator hangs up.....

10 secs later.....
Operator (this time a female voice): uncle, just now you report where accident ah?
Suspiciously sounding like an ah lian.....
Cab Driver: JULONG ROUND HALL LOOT lah....on A Y E towards Changi at before CLEMENTI AVE 6
Ah lian: Oooh, JURONG TOWN HALL ROAD AH...okok thankyou uncle. Thank you uncle. THANK YOU leh!


I was trying hard not to burst out laughing.......

Hello Mr Transport Minister, can you read?

see pictures if you cant....
please build foreign talents dorms far away in JB or Pedra Blanca please.
We only got THAT much land in Boonlay.



RIOT@BOONLAY!!!!!




ok....not really.....
it's just everyone looking for the gantry........


i know the picture doesn't show clearly.....
but if you look closely enough, everyone is trying to enter from all the gantries....
I wonder how people inside is coming out.......
they seriously should solve this issue at boonlay......
if not, one of these days, the platform at boonlay will collapse.......

A nut loose...... maybe......

me of course.....
when I told everyone I'm not touching a single drop of alcohol anymore....
Nobody actually believed me......
I guess to them, I just one hell of a alcoholic........
but hey! I didn't go for KPMG's welcome party at Zouk!
ok....big deal.....but at least its a start right?
my alcohol vibes were actually getting the better of me at 6.00pm last Friday.....
but hell no, I told myself. I'm (was) going home.
my last sniff of alcohol was actually on Tuesday, @Brewerkz. With Ximing and Mitchelle.
So lets see when will this "de-alcoholing" exercise end....
any takers? I'm taking bets....

In fact, was discussing this issue with yunting; we already have decayed tooth, rotten lungs and disintegrated you-name-it-we-have-it-body-parts printed on the packaging of cigarettes. Maybe in the future, we might even see similar "ads" on beer bottles. Hardened livers, Discoloured Kidneys, accompanying your Kilkenny, Ludwig, Macallum and whats nots.
Yes, laugh at the suggestion. But nothing is impossible in Singapore ok?

We had Mas Selamat escaping via Toilets, Prison Break Style.
We had F1, Monaco Style, but at night! (Beat that, Monaco)
We have casinos coming to our shores soon. (And we even had 29k people banned from entering already)
Best of all, we are going to have "Foreign Talent" (yes Mitchelle, those with the sucidal smell type) dorms in SERANGOON. Not Boon Lay ok. Soon their area of influence will spread to Kembangan, East Coast and Ubin. Mark my words.


If Singapore can build foreign workers dorm in Serangoon, I'm sure I can refrain from drinking.




1 week at least, I'm sure.





Stop laughing Drey.