MRT Congestion (28/11/07)

SINGAPORE: In a bid to fight congestions on the mass rapid transport (MRT), up and coming opposition politician Mr. Koh XYZ has already proposed radical changes to the current transport system and submitted to the parliament. According to reliable sources, some of the changes include:

1. The creation of time slots to faciliate different groups of people.
Schedules are as follows (Subject to changes):
Students only- 6.00am to 7.30am, 3.00pm to 4.30pm
(Come on, you will be late for school if u take the train later than that! And yes, Students should not stay in school beyond 4.30pm)

Working adults ONLY(i.e. Raffles place slaves) - 7.30am to 9am, 5pm to 8pm.

Aunties, Uncles and other groups of people not mentioned - please use the available timeslots NOT mentioned. Yes, students and working adults are allowed to use these un-mentioned time slots too.
** ABNNs, ATs or others that look like them, please refer to change no.4 below




2. Baby prams i.e. the Mercedes, the MaClarens would be barred from entering trains.
Come on, use your brain. Your Mercedes so big, take up alot of space leh. Please be more considerate. If you die die must bring your mercedes out, please use other modes of transport. Thank you very much.

3. Passengers are only allowed to sit, if and only if their destinations are more than 5 stations away. (Aunties/Uncles are you reading this?) Passengers caught not following this regulation, other passengers would be allowed to smack them on their heads.

4. ABNNs, ATs and passengers that smell like salted fish or rotten eggs would be barred from taking the MRT. Singapore is a clean and green country, and that includes fresh and fragrant smelling.

5. No eccentric behaviour while on trains. Examples of eccentric behaviours include:
Treating your handphone as a radio, blasting them on trains.
Taking off shoes to air your feet.
Talking so loudly on the phone that you disturb other passengers taking a wink.
Occupying more than 1 seat. (Your butt got so big or not???)
Eccentricity would be judged on a case by case basis.

6. Strictly NO food on trains (henceforth there would be no more ba zhang or roti prata eating scenarios anymore.) Da Bao also cannot!

Prosecutors would be charged (with 9000kilowatts). Survivors would be prosecuted again.


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ok...I'm dreaming..........